I'm going to do better

Yes, I know I've said this in my last 2 entries. But seriously, I'm at the point where I need some outlet to vent or I am going straight to the looney bin. So what's been going on the last month? I've gotten a new temp job, where I've been for about 6 weeks now. In short, it sucks. OK, not really, but I am busy all the time and I resent not being able to be paid to study. I mean seriously, the nerve!

I decided that there is no way that I can keep up this schedule, maintain my sanity, and continue law school. My schoolwork is suffering badly b/c I just don't have the energy to keep up. 16 hour days are not the business. Add to that horrible mommy guilt over never seeing my son, and this situation just isn't working for me. Su and I originally decided that I would stick it out until January, but it turns out that my job will be over at the end of November - right around the time that we will be preparing to move and I will be studying for finals. We both (well, definitely me and hopefully Su too) think that is a good time to call it quits. I tried my hand at being Superwoman and I've come up short. Sometimes you have to realize that one plan isn't working and move on to the next.

On a law school front, Contracts and Torts are moving along fine. I had my first truly horrifying moment a couple weeks ago though. The first time that I EVER come to class not having read a single word of a single case, and I'm on call. Having to tell my professor that I was unprepared was the absolute worst. I sat there the whole time hoping that I could either disappear or fall through a hole in the floor. I haven't made that mistake again, and I've been making a total nuisance of myself in Contracts ever since.

Legal Writing on the other hand is the bane of my existence. A 1750 word memo, a quiz, a research log, and a flow chart -- all within a week of each other. Kill.Me.Now. It's hard to hate our professor b/c she's so sweet -- like, want her to be my grandma sweet. I had a conference in her office and it's one of those with framed pictures of cats on the wall, and some sort of babbling water machine. I fully expected her to offer me tea and scones. Sadly, there was no Earl Grey to be had. :-( Still, if that lady doesn't lighten up I may just run off screaming.

Judah is doing well, although we're on each other's crap lists this morning. I started the horrible habit of giving him a bottle in bed when he was sick last month. Do not ever do this! He now wakes multiple times a night wanting a bottle and will go back to sleep. Well last night I decided to nip this in the bud and started giving him bottles of water. Boy did he make us pay for that! Not a happy little man. I think tonight I'm going to check if he is getting teeth, or if he was just pissed at me.

In closing -- 1st birthday party pics!!!

I'm really bad at this

OK, so I know I suck at being a blogger. As I said in my last post though I'm pretty sure no one but my husband reads my poor little blog, so I probably wasn't missed.

So since my last post lots has happened. I started working (well, temping), and the J man went to daycare. :-( It is ridiculous how much I miss him but he does so well there and his Daycare Provider is the sweetest woman ever and just loves him to pieces. I literally got offered a job on a Friday and Judah needed to start daycare that Tuesday. It was no problem and she made room for him right away. Then, 2 weeks later, I realized that shuttling him around after daycare to my parents while I went to school was stressful for us all, so she agreed to keep him later twice a week. Miss Vee is really a Godsend and I'm trying to think of something to do for her to show her how much I appreciate her.

As far as the law school portion of this law school mama blog, class started 3 weeks ago and so far it is going really well. Torts is my favorite, followed by Contracts. Legal Writing is pretty much the bane of my existence. I have to say I haven't been studying as much as I did in my summer class but I'm determined to get back on track soon. Speaking of that other class -- I GOT AN A!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYYAYAY! The grade distribution came out recently and I noticed that there was only one other A in a class of 23, so I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. The downside is that I've realized that Professor Lazarus is pretty much the rocking-est professor on the planet, so we might've been a bit spoiled. It's rare to have a professor who is knowledgeable, funny, personable, demanding, etc. all rolled into one. I'm just waiting for the opportunity to take another one of his classes.

So, that's all that's going on. I'm updating this blog when I should be reading negligence cases for class in a few hours, and preparing for being a working mom, law school mom, and single mom when my husband goes to Europe for two weeks on Friday. I gotta say, I'm kinda looking forward to it being just me and Judah. I hope that it is as peaceful and fun as I'm planning, and doesn't end up being me putting out fires for 2 weeks.

In closing, some Judah Bean for your viewing pleasure.

Sorry It's Been So Long!

I figured no one but my husband reads my poor little infant-sized blog, so I wouldn't be missed too much considering he already knows all the stuff I write about here. He insists that he likes reading it and I should update it though (LOVE HIM!), so here goes.

It has been a crazy month. The last couple weeks of class were good, I enjoyed it as usual (Professor L rocks!), but I was starting to get school-fatigue. I felt incredibly guilty about it because I am living my dream, right?! Then it scared me because it was only an 8 week course, and the fall semester will be twice that long. I think it was more all the running around I had to do though. Because we share a car I would have to drop Su off at work, which meant an hour total driving time and Judah getting antsy halfway through the drive back home. Then home for a few hours, getting in playtime, lunch and an afternoon nap, before I had to get him ready to go to one of my parents houses so that I could go to class. After class pick him up, then head home. Get him bathed, fed, and off to bed. Then studying while exhausted. It was a lot. But we all managed to make it through unscathed and my grades stayed up. The final was difficult but I'm pretty sure I did well. I won't know my grade until August 4th, but I'm confident I did well and am just happy on a break and enjoying the summer!!

We've been having a blast -- we took J to the zoo, a family reunion, and today we are headed to the Children's Museum. Since last month he has started crusing all over the place, and we are keeping the video camera very close since we're on "First Step" watch. He's also saying da da da da, but he hasn't used it in reference to the appropriate person, so we're also on "First Word" watch! It's so exciting to see him growing up!! I just want to squeeze and kiss him all the time because I'm just loving him and this age so much, but he is too busy to let mommy hold him too long :-(

I'll be back

I know I need to update, but I'm too tired to be witty.

Check back soon...

7 out of 8

I was so sure that I had gotten an 8 out of 8 on this quiz. Sadly it wasn't to be. I can take some small comfort in the fact that only 3 of us (out of 23) got 7s and only one person got an 8, but I wanted that one person to be me! Missing that question was purely a function of missing class on Wednesday, because I didn't have a full understanding of what residency by a US citizen in a foreign country meant for diversity jurisdiction, but I suppose it could have been worse. All in all folks seem to have done better on this quiz, but there were still people getting 3s, 4s, and 5s. Is it mean to wonder how they are managing to score so low? I probably am jinxing myself but I'm glad I have a solid "B" right now. I would imagine there are some that are failing the course based on those 2 quizzes. There were a few people who seemed really upset after class. On the one hand I feel bad for them, on the other hand I'm in competition with them for class rank so I hope they continue this trend. See? I'm a cuttthroat lawyer already. According to my calculations, I am either at the top of my class, tied for the top, or very very near the top -- like person 2 or 3. I figure this because I got a 6 on the first quiz, along with several others, and that was the top grade on that quiz. I got a 7 on the second quiz and only one person scored higher. So if that person also got a 6 on the first quiz they would be in the top. But if that person scored a 4 or lower I've got the top spot (or am tied for the top spot). If they scored a 5 we are tied. It's all very complicated and it makes my brain hurt. I wish I knew what everyone else got on both quizzes!!!!! I really, really, really want to be in the top 10% going into the Fall Semester, and in a class of 23 that means being in the top 2. I'm definitely working hard enough.

On a fun note, last night when Sule and Judah came to pick me up from school I brought Judah in to meet some of my classmates. Of course he won them over immediately because that's just how he is. I'm sure they'll be seeing a lot of each other for the next 4 years. I also noticed yesterday that he's getting another tooth! Right on the bottom next to the first one. Cuteness overload, and he isn't even too fussy. I'm so lucky to be this kiddos mom.

What a week!

I have been beyond frazzled and exhausted this week. Between changing my plans for school and deciding to get a job, Judah's teething, and a bunch of weird happenings, I'm just happy it is pretty much over. I still have to go to my old temp agency today to update my file, but after that I'm off until Monday. I have to say, Wednesday was the most interesting day of all. Wednesday afternoon, Sule called to tell me that he'd rescued a kitten outside his job and asked if I'd come and get it. I had no idea, and still have no idea, what we're going to do with this kitty. But I brought her home and she is extremely cute, and Judah thinks she's so fascinating! She was afraid of him at first but now they're best buds. So after rescuing a kitten, I had to prepare to go to school. The only problem was that both of the sitters I'd lined up weren't available. So I called my professor to tell him I'd be 15 minutes late, and decided to pick Sule up from work at 6 and that he would drop me off at class. We needed gas, but I asked him to wait until he dropped me off because I was already late. Yeah, that worked out great. We promptly ran out of gas on the highway 5 minutes from school. Because I thought we were just running out to get daddy and then going home, Judah was wearing his pajamas, no socks, and had no diaper bag. I win worst mommy of the day. What's ironic is that I had *just* told Sule that we should keep an extra bottle, formula, diapers and wipes in the car for emergencies. Of course I hadn't gotten around to doing that yet. So I missed class on Wednesday and was freaking out about Thursday's quiz. I did well on last week's quiz (6 out of 8, which was the highest grade anybody in the class got), but this week's was supposed to be short answer and the questions were much more difficult. I spoke to one of my classmates about what he'd reviewed, and I just did all my reading and hoped for the best. Lo and behold: a multiple choice quiz! And I rocked it out if I may say so myself. I'll be very surprised if I didn't get all 8 questions right. YAY!

Here are some pictures of Judah and kitty being cute.

Happy 8 Monthday Bug!

And he got a tooth as a Monthday present! After we dropped Sule off at work this morning Judah was a little fussy in the backseat, so I reached back and he was holding my hand. He put my finger in his mouth and bit it, and there was something really sharp in there. So as soon as we got home I checked, and sure enough there is something sprouting! I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast. He's well on his way to walking, drank water out of a straw yesterday (!), and now has a tooth. I remember being excited because he finally opened his eyes. It's so bittersweet!

After thinking really hard about going part time and having a long discussion with Sule weighing all the pros and cons, we've decided that is definitely the best course of action. The good thing is that my school is very lax about letting you go back and forth between the fulltime and parttime programs, so if things ever change in the future I can always go fulltime. We've also decided its in everybody's best interest that I get a job. So not only will I be working fulltime, I'll also be going to law school in the evenings. I'm having panic attacks about it (mostly about never seeing my Bean), but Su assures me that it's no different from him working his odd hours and Judah is still totally in love with Daddy. I talked over working fulltime with some classmates yesterday and they are all confident that we can do it. So at least I've got that. I'm trying to find out if they have some sort of organization or group for parttimers who work. Again, though, I'm very blessed to have a great support system. My dad wasn't keen on me working and going parttime, but once I explained that daycare costs are just not feasible on one income he understood, although I think he's contemplating keeping Judah himself during the day so that I can go fulltime! lol. They are already gaga for each other as it is. So I'm on a job hunt. Which sucks. And I can't help thinking that if we'd decided this before I could have been working this whole time!

Ugh. Just ugh.

So, I haven't posted in awhile because this has been a very hard week. Between Thursday's quiz (ugh), lack of sleep (ugh), and my never-ending hunt for daycare (ugh) I am pretty much ready to crawl under the covers and not come out. I'm now considering going part-time (UGH!) because it is looking impossible to find a daycare that we can afford and someone that I trust to care for my kiddo. I have a problem with in-home daycares, only because I think most lack the structure that I'm looking for in a daycare, and the centers are crazy expensive. It's actually quite depressing. I contacted the Assistant Director of Admissions today b/c she and I have a friendly relationship, and asked if it is still possible to go part-time in the fall. She thinks it is, but I have to make my decision quickly. She even offered to help me look for daycare! She's very sweet, hence why I called her first. Going part-time was NOT something that I wanted to do for many reasons. 1.) 4 years instead of 3; 2.) Less availability of summer associateships; 3.) I JUST DON'T WANNA! But I guess if that's the only option then that is what I'll have to do. It won't be that bad I suppose, and the upside would be that I'd get to stay home with my Judah-bug and not be worried sick that something is happening to him when I'm not around. I'll mull it over this week and have a decision made by Friday. I could always change to full-time in a later semester when the childcare situation is better, and there are plenty of my LCOP classmates who'll be part-time. I think I'm making up my mind as I type this. It's hard to let go of the fulltime student goal that I had, but I suppose this is best for now. It won't kill me to be a part-timer.

That said, I'm still going to hold out hope that I find a center that has sliding-scale rates or scholarships. Here's hoping.

They sure don't ease you in!

I'm exactly one week into class and I'm already swamped. It isn't so much work that I can't get it done, but it requires literally ALL of my baby-free time. Today I have 3 cases to brief before class, and I need to prepare for the two quizzes I have this week. That said, it has been the most rewarding and exciting week EVER! I'm already starting to see legal issues in a totally different light. A good example would be the California Supreme Court decision that upheld Proposition 8. Now, as a law student, I'm really interested in reading the courts published decision to find out what their rationale was. If I ever get a moment to read anything other than caselaw, I'll have to get on that. lol

So far we are working on issues of Property, which to date includes finders' keepers laws and adverse possession. Who ever knew that whole cases could be decided based on whether a wallet was found on a table or on the floor, and that you could have a whole class discussion centered on the difference between a "lost" or "mislaid" item. Also, as I mentioned, we have started learning to brief cases. Apparently it is to be expected that as a 1L you will pretty much suck at briefing, but I have to admit it helps you organize the facts and holdings of each case in your mind. They keep telling us that part of the 1L experience is to be hopelessly confused, so I'm just happy we haven't come to that point yet.

On a Judah-bug note, he has been doing pretty well for the last few days, being his usual infectious self during the day and sleeping pretty well at night. We've adjusted his schedule because we get home at about 8:15 right now, but the slightly later bedtime actually seems to be helping him. We also had to move back to 3 naps. He had been doing 2 for a couple weeks but I don't think he was ready yet. We've found that the only way anyone gets any sleep around here is if Judah takes a nap in the evening. So far so good!

One Week Down

The first week of class is over. I have to say it has been wonderful. I've already learned so much that I don't know how I'm going to retain 3 years worth of this much information. So far so good though. I've been doing a good job keeping up with my readings and making sure I'm over-prepared for class. It's a horrible feeling to be called on and not even know the basics, so it is my goal to never have to feel that way. I can't imagine how much work it'll be when you multiply this one class times 6. OY.

On a Judah-related note, he did well at Auntie Leah and Uncle Robert's this week. The first night was horrendous sleep-wise (we were up maybe 4-5 times each), but last night he slept through the night! I am hoping against hope that this becomes a pattern, but I've been on this rollercoaster long enough to know not to hold my breath.

Sadly this weekend I'm missing a trip that has been planned for months because I don't have a sitter. It was a girls weekend and I was really looking forward to unwinding. Par for the course of having a little one, I suppose. I'm making Sule take us out to dinner tonight to make up for it. I see a Fire Roll and sake in my future, which takes the sting out of bailing on my trip. :-)

First Day Down

So my first day of law school is over and I feel much, much better now. It was only a Meet and Greet, not actual class, but I am confident now and ready to go. I think I just needed to get that first day under my belt so that I wasn't filled with angst and anxiety. The Dean of the Law School, some professors, and former LCOP students spoke to us and tried to reassure us that while a legal education is a daunting and rigorous process, it is also extremely rewarding. It was hard not to notice, though, that every speaker reiterated the rigorous part. lol.

I had my first reading assignment last night, and I've probably read the 3 pages at least 50 times, as well as answered all the questions to the best of my ability. Those 3 pages of Property case law raised more issues in my mind than I can count and brought on a pretty big headache, but I also found it so interesting! Clearly this is right up my alley. Sule was bored silly by all the talk of trover, replevin, prior possessors and true owners, but he dutifully half-listened while I tried to make sense of it all. I promised him that I would listen to his History and Museum Studies stuff when the time comes (YAWN).

Today is the first day of class and I just want to make sure I'm prepared when I get there. I think I have a pretty good handle on what the readings were all about and I just want to stay on top of it and not get behind. I'll keep you guys posted as to whether I make a fool out of myself in class later or not. Stay tuned. :-)

Memorial Day Weekend... And today's the big day!

I am coming off of a fantastic Memorial Day weekend only to be faced with the daunting reality that I start my law school career today. I am a huge bundle of nerves and I feel really silly about it because it's only one class! It isn't like I'm beginning a full time schedule. But this is a for-credit course and my GPA begins today. This probably explains why I could barely sleep last night and woke up feeling sick. I am horrified that something is going to happen to screw everything up, or that I'm going to get there and realize that I'm not as smart as I think. And unfortunately I'm only half joking. Meanwhile, I'm waiting for my books to arrive (thank you, procrastination) and pretty much just fidgeting and worrying.

On a brighter note, we hosted a cookout on Sunday and it was so much fun! My dad is out of town so we utilized his grill and had a small feast, although I learned that you should probably take it easy on the wine when you start at 3pm. By 9 I was out like a light and only got to watch the first quarter of the Cavs game. It's OK though because they lost, so I would have been disappointed if I had stayed up to watch the whole thing. Plus, Judah was up from 3am until 5am, but since I'd been sleeping for 6 hours I was more than happy to stay up with him, so I guess falling asleep early had it's benefit. I should try that more often.

Supernanny has gotten to me!

So after a very very sad episode of Supernanny last night in which the father died leaving two young children, I've decided that I really need to quit smoking once and for all. The episode had nothing to do with smoking, but I just couldn't imagine not being around for my little one and I can't take the risk any more. That said, I've decided that I'm going to have my last cigarette on the day I get my 1st semester grades back. I figure it isn't smart to add the additional stress of quitting on top of beginning school next week and a fulltime schedule in the fall, so I think that I've set a good - and reachable - goal. This way I can celebrate my (hopefully) fantastic grades, and then be done. Once I get into the groove and know what I'm doing I'm hoping it'll be much easier to step away from the 'Ports. I'm actually pretty excited about it!

Exhaustion!!

What do you get when you cross crappy naps with a late bedtime? You get one very tired mommy. I woke up this morning at about 2am and pretty much stayed up after that, with the occassional nap in the chair in the nursery. Good grief I thought these days were over! The one bright spot is that I think this will give me a one-up on my fellow law students. "Oh, you can't handle functioning on little to no sleep? Ha! Amateurs!" LOL. I'm trying to keep my sense of humor, and my wits, about me.

The Magnificent and the Mundane

So today was a nice blend of crazy errands in the morning and R and R in the afternoon. The three of us took a trip to the daycare we're trying to get into to place our names on the waiting list. Sule wasn't very pleased about going because he thought it would be a crazy romper room, but I told him it wasn't like that at all, plus he had to suck it up if he wanted a ride to work after. I have to say I think he was thoroughly impressed! The place is huge, so organized and it seems like a ton of fun and learning goes on there. And the big plus was that I got to see my niece. She was going down for her nap but it was so nice to wave to her through the window while she laid on her little cot. So cute! It's an added bonus that Judah would be in the same room with his cousin for a little while. The big news (the magnificent part!) was that I paid my first of three payments for my summer Legal Process course. YAY! It's so weird to think that this time next week I will officially be a law student. Ca-Razy!!!!!! I could have gotten my student ID on that same trip, but silly me left my license inside of Judah's diaper bag. So that's one errand that I'll have to make one day soon. After leaving school we headed to my dad's for some much needed relaxation time. I didn't plan to stay the whole day, but the free food and cable was too good to pass up. lol. Judah had a blast with his aunts, uncle, Grandma Vette, and Grandpa. So much so that I couldn't get him to take a nap that was longer than 30 minutes. So after getting all the hugs and kisses in all the world between 3 and 8, he finally fell asleep in the car on the way to pick daddy up from work. We might, just might, get him to sleep through the night tonight!

I am quite possibly missing a couple marbles...

After many long years of hoping, dreaming, and dragging my feet I'm finally going to be a law student! This past year has been hectic and plenty stressful but also extremely rewarding. Our son was born on October 10, 2008, and having him here has made this move to law school that much more urgent. After being accepted to all 5 of my schools (!), I've finally decided on a winner -- one that doesn't require us moving and will allow us to be close to my parents. I'm eager to get it over with so that we can get on with our lives!!

Right now, though, I'm questioning my sanity. I start an evening preparatory course next week, it's 6:30am and I've been up for almost 2 hours with my early-wakey baby, and to make matters worse we have shots today. Sadface. I'm seriously panicking over books, student ID cards, transcripts, parking passes, teething, daycare, not sleeping through the night, and the list goes on and on. Because I'm OCD about both school and my son (yeah, I'm the mom that sent her baby to Grandma's with his outfits carefully chosen and placed into individual Ziploc bags), I'm busy making lists and schedules that I'm sure I'll never use, just to feel like I'm being proactive and staying on top of the situation. I read a suggestion on my school's website that you take one day off on the weekend to just relax. So I'm going to take that suggestion and keep Saturday as family day. I figure I don't have class on Fridays so I can study then, and by Sunday I'll need to study in preparation for Monday. Also, I'm thinking that I can stay home during the week until Baby J goes to bed at 8, then leave to go to the library after. This way, I tell myself, I will still be there when he wakes up and goes to bed. I'm hoping that for the most part he won't realize I'm gone. I know what they say about "the best laid plans" so I have no disallusions about all these schedules going straight out the window, but at this point I'm just trying to be optimistic. I'm hoping against hope that I have what it takes to keep all these balls in the air. I'm going to need a very patient husband for the next three years!